I spent the evening with a fabulous group of women but
sometimes being with them makes me feel
like a failure. They are mostly married, some for not the first time but still
they are married. I don’t think I’m to blame for my divorce, but part of the
blame is mine. Although it’s been a long time and I am at peace with my
situation there is still the taste of failure in my mouth. As a woman my family
was my identity. I made mistakes and I did some things pretty ok but in the end
I couldn’t save my son and I couldn’t save my marriage. Sometimes I have a hard
time living with that.
I wish I could say I am a great example to all of these
women who are younger than me but I’m more a cautionary tale. “Please, do not
make the same mistakes I have made”, “be better, do better, than me”. I wish I
had been a better wife, a better mother, a better everything. And if wishes
were wings, pigs would fly.
