Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine’s day. If I truly believed it was only in honor of romantic love between a man and a woman I suppose it would be a difficult day for me. I don’t think that’s all it’s about. I think it’s a day to celebrate love of all kinds. If you’re open to it, no matter how “alone” you think yourself to be, there is love all around you. Play a game sometime…every baby or toddler you see, smile at them. Unless they are crying or asleep you will get a smile back. Show a dog some affection and see if you don’t get love back. Sure it’s not all fireworks like a kiss from your first love but it is love. How many hugs could you collect in a day if you were willing to give a few?

I don’t think love given is ever wasted. Just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean it was a waste. It doesn’t mean you squandered your love. I am divorced, does that mean I should never have loved my husband, that it was a mistake all the way around? Because I was married I had two children, because I was married I have two grandsons and because I was married I know what it’s like to care more about someone else than you do yourself. So, no I don’t think it was mistake. Were mistakes made, well yes there were or I’d still be married.  You can’t judge an entire relationship by how it ends, it’s like remembering the last minute of someone’s life and forgetting all the rest.   

My son died, does that mean It was stupid to have spent twenty years loving him because in the end there was hurt? How much sense would that make. If you spend your life avoiding hurt you’ll spend your life avoiding life.

I couldn’t live if I kept my love safely hidden in my pocket, only taking it out when I was sure it would be returned penny for penny.  How sad that would be. I prefer to just take my chances. Sometimes love is returned, sometimes it’s rejected, sometimes some falls on someone and I never see whether it made a difference or not. It’s not up to me to decide who is worthy of receiving love. It’s up to me to give it and then give it some more. 

Whatever the result is it’s never for nothing because even if the recipient gets nothing out of receiving it what a blessing I receive for having given it.