Joy Misplaced

 

I have a lot of wonderful Christmas memories and a few not so wonderful. One of those not so wonderful ones was completely of my own making.

My father in law had delivered a nice round evergreen he had purchased from the Rotary Club he was a member of. He did this every year and never let me pay him for the tree. The kids wanted to put the tree up right away and their dad was still at the farm working. I got out the defective, legs always falling off tree stand and tried to set the tree up. It was too tall. Not a big deal. My dad didn’t raise no girly girl who didn’t know how to use a saw. With saw in hand and two helpers to hold the tree steady we cut the trunk off to better fit under the ceiling.

The cutting accomplished I put the trunk into the stand and tried to hold it while tightening the thumb screws that held the trunk in place. Every time I attempted to straighten the tree and tighten the screws I moved the tree just enough for one of the tree stand legs to fall off.  I went on like this for what seemed an eternity, tree sliding to one side, me straightening it up, a leg falling off, putting the leg back on straightening and another leg falling off.

In a fit of frustration I must have said something inappropriate (as I did when my temper got the best of me) or just my totally irritated, impatient demeanor got the best of my kids. Kris was maybe 4 or 5 and Jordan 3 or 4. One of them, I can’t recall which one it was came over as I knelt on the floor, got very close to my face and said quietly, “it’s OK mom, we don’t need to have a tree”.

I could have burst into tears. I was acting like such an ass that my poor children were willing to fore go a Christmas tree just to get me to act half way normal. I was petrified. Immediately calm I said “if you guys think you can hold the tree straight, I think I can get these tightened without the legs falling off. I don’t know how many more tries it took but we did it. One of my favorite pictures in the world is of the two kids in their pajamas in front of that very tree. We had put the lights on and they were just getting ready to start with the ornaments.

It gets hectic at Christmas time, we get tired, frustrated and yes, sometimes downright angry. Don’t let stupid things get in the way of your peace and enjoyment of this time of year. Don’t let anything steal your joy or the precious joy and wonder of those around you.

I’m sure if I asked Kris today she’d still remember the year we didn’t have to have a Christmas tree. That’s not the kind of memory you want your children to remember.