PEACE OR ANXIETY

 

 

PEACE OR ANXIETY

 

 

I am where I want to be. Location wise, in a place I’ve loved from the first time I visited, living situation, with family, a great place to be. So where is my peace. Why am I not absolutely drowning in peace? Good question.

As I have admitted before (many times) I have had an issue with nail biting, cuticle demolishing, hang nail ripping since I was a kid. I’ve always chalked it up to a bad habit nothing more, nothing less. Now I find out it’s a symptom of anxiety. What in the world do I have to be anxious about? It’s not like I don’t know where my next meal is coming from or as if I wait trembling for the next bombs to fall. Here I sit in one of God’s most peaceful places and yet….where is my peace.

I have come to believe that peace, like love, is not a noun but a verb. It’s a decision. If I truly believe that God watches over me, that God will provide, that God does walk with me even through the valley of the shadow of death then I need to tell myself that. Maybe I need to tell myself that every moment since once a day seems inadequate.

Another possibility is that I am not at peace because I am not in the “do what I have asked” zone with God. Being outside the boundaries of His will is unsettling as I suppose it should be. I get so cluttered in my brain that often His voice does not make it through the racket.

So I will decide to have peace and I will do a spring cleaning of my cluttered, disorganized brain and see if there is some unfinished business for God that I have let roll under the bed or fall behind the couch. I’m sure if I ask He’ll show me where it is.

 

 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9