Good byes

Sometimes life feels like an endless stream of goodbyes, some for a while some longer, some forever. Not something I'm good at or good at accepting graciously. When starting over it's probably better to focus on the new, the future and not on what has been left behind. In all honesty I never fully leave anything or anyone behind. Where ever I go the past is with me. The past and and all those good and bad that made it what it was. Tonight my two grandsons and I went to see a neighbor from the "old" neighborhood. I lived there 15 years before the divorce and moving to a different house in the same community. They were great neighbors and good people. I'll probably never see them again and that saddens me. I promised to keep in touch but it will probably only be once a year at Christmas when I finally get around to writing to everyone I should have written to all year.

Another see you later

Mom flies home Saturday. I know I get on her nerves and vice versa sometimes but overall I do enjoy having her here. Doing things with her and the little extra time it takes to do two people's laundry, dishes etc. has kept me from being too much at loose ends. When she goes the fact I have no job to go to daily will come crashing down. I will spend more time volunteering than I have been and concentrate more heavily on applications and interviews. I hope that I have gotten her out and about more than she would have done on her own. I know I've done things I wouldn't have done without someone to do them with. Still trying very hard to find the path I'm meant to take. Sometimes I think God expects me to follow his lead when we're dancing but I don't dance very well. It would be easier for me if he'd just give me a real good shove in the right direction, something so very obvious even I can't mistake it.